Solitude
by Akisukis shadowcat
Summary: After Farrah's wedding, Amy and Karma have to deal with the consequences of their acts, After being attached by the hip for 10 years, breaking up for real gets the best of them. After all, they've never been alone before. The events take place immediately after the first season finale.
1. Failed one night stand

Hi, everyone.

A few weeks ago I uploaded a oneshot of Karmy when they are in their middle twenties, and I got a few responses asking for a continuation. For the moment I have no idea how to move on with that story so… in the meantime, I'll try and write something that happens immediately after the first season ends. I have about 40 days to get this done before season two is aired. I warn you, this is going to be angsty, sad for a long while. After all, a break up is pretty hard to deal with. Enjoy and send me your feedback. Cheers.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the "Faking it" characters.

* * *

He crashed over her body and muffled her shaky breath with a sloppy kiss. Amy couldn't remember how they have gotten upstairs and into her bedroom. Her dress disappeared along the way, as well as his pants and shirt. The door was open, but there was nobody at home. Her mother and Bruce would spend the night in a fancy hotel downtown. They couldn't skip work so the honey moon had to be postponed until the next weekend. Lauren left the party with Pablo. Amy heard something about a tango dance floor and thought that it would be a good idea for her stepsister to release some of the rage she felt because of her breakup. At least someone was being responsible with the way they were handling their feelings.

Liam kissed her neck and moved his hands up and down her naked thighs. The fussiness of the alcohol was gone by now and she was way too conscious of the rubbing of an unfamiliar body against hers. It felt wrong in so many levels. The boy reeked of alcohol, maybe as much as her, but he wasn't giving any signs of second thoughts. He just continued with whatever he was doing ignoring the tense girl under him. Amy moved her face to avoid another kiss and tried to push him off of her. Liam didn't seem to notice.

"Stop", she said without a lot of energy. He was very heavy and she was starting to feel breathless. Maybe it had something to do with her panic. "Liam, stop. Please". He wasn't going to listen to her, but when he unhooked her bra she snapped. "I SAID STOP IT!" she yelled pushing him off of her.

Liam flew off the bed and landed on his back on the floor. Amy quickly sat down and covered herself with her arms.

"What the fuck is your problem?! This was your idea!"

"Yeah? Well I changed my mind!", Liam was furious. Amy hoped he wouldn't force himself on her. "Just go, Liam…" When she saw wh wasn't moving she snapped again. "Don't just sit there, leave! GET OUT!"

"Fuck you, Amy". The boy got up, picked up his clothes and left without another word.

When Amy heard the front door slam, she felt something cold creep up her back. What the hell was she thinking? She hated Liam Booker's guts. He was the reason why all this mess had started, he was the reason why she had realized she was in love with her bestfriend, and he was the reason why Karma would never be with her. And she had been about to sleep with him! Amy was glad that she had come to her senses before any of the nasty had happened. She couldn't imagine how she would have felt in the morning if she found an unconscious and naked Liam Booker lying next to her.

Amy looked around and saw that, in the commotion, the picture frame of Karma and her had being tossed aside. The glass was broken, and so was Amy. Maybe she hadn't slept with Liam, and yes it was Karma's fault that she felt like shit, but this whole situation was still treason. Karma would eventually find out about what had happened that night and she would never forgive Amy for that.

The blonde ran to the bathroom and got in the shower. She didn't even wait for the hot water to run. She dived in the freezing water and scrubbed her skin fiercely. She was disgusted with what had happened. When she returned to her bedroom, Amy ripped the sheets out of her bed and tossed them in the hall, but she couldn't stand the sight of the bed. She curled up on the floor rapping herself in a thick blanket. Amy fell asleep crying. She would never be able to fix this. Karma would never speak to her again. But the truth was that she didn't want to speak to her either. It hurt too much.


	2. Pay the price

Hello again.

Here is part two of "Solitude". I will alternate between Amy's and Karma's point of views. The first chapter had some mistakes so I uploaded it again, but don't worry the content is exactly the same. You don't need to go back and read it again. I will try my best to write the chapters as soon as possible, but work is getting in the way.

Enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the "Faking it" characters.

* * *

Friday, led to the weekend, and now she had to face the cold reality and go back to school. Her mom had been very supportive about the breakup with Amy, but she refused to let Karma stay at home forever. Being a hippie and supporting her daughter's education weren't mutually exclusive categories.

Karma got to the bus station just a minute before it arrived. She was terrified of the idea of sitting next to Amy after all what had happened. She felt ashamed and weird about her best friend being in love with her. However, when she didn't see Amy sitting in their usual spot, she felt even worse. She had secretly expected to talk to her as if nothing had happened; that only meant that things wouldn't go back to normal any time soon. She couldn't pretend momentary amnesia this time.

Farrah's wedding had been a complete disaster. She had left Liam Friday morning in order to be there for her best friend. And then he had shown up, and Amy had confessed her feelings, and then she told her that she had slept with him, and finally Shane had ratted her out making Liam leave her in an instant. It was amazing how everything could go to shit in about ten minutes. _Karma_ was truly a bitch. She thought that she had everything under control, but the pile of lies had tumbled and fell over her head like an avalanche leaving her breathless, hurt and trapped. There was nothing she could do to fix it. Nothing.

When she got to school and reached her locker she saw Amy walking away. She had probably driven to school with Shane or Lauren. She only got a glimpse of her back, but she knew that she felt like shit too. Karma wondered how they would manage to go through the day if they shared most of their classes. Once she got to Biology she knew. Amy would sit in the back corner of the room surrounded by the Goth-wanna-be-students. And when the class was over, Amy ran out and met with Shane who was acting as a guard dog. Not a word, nor any eye-contact… at least not from Amy. The rest of the school stared at her all day. They knew already. How much, Karma wondered.

Karma waited for Vashtee to come and stalk her with questions about the breakup so she could update the school's Tumblr, but she didn't approached her. In fact, nobody talked or even got near her. It was as if she had the plague. Everyone stared coldly from a safe distance. However, she saw people smiling and being nice to Amy.

Of course, whatever they thought had happened, it was all her fault. She was the bitch in all of this. Karma was furious. Those idiots didn't know half of the story. Amy was in love with her! Which was totally wrong! And because of Shane's backstabbing, Liam had broken up with her. And… and…

Karma realized the irony of the whole situation. She in truth was the fake lesbian who had cheated on Amy. Somehow, Amy had managed to embrace the whole faking-it story and making it real. If only she had noticed that before. But she had been busy seducing Liam and hooking up with him. Just now, Karma realized that she had chosen wrong. Who she truly missed was Amy, not Liam. She felt betrayed by him, but it was her friend she wanted to get back.

Hours passed by and soon it was time for lunch. Karma couldn't stand being in the cafeteria so she fled outside and sat in a solitary bench in the far corner of the courtyard. She tried to eat but it was useless, she hadn't been able to hold anything in her stomach since the wedding. The whispering was driving her mad and after a moment she tried to muffle the sounds by covering her ears. However, the silence was even more terrifying.

Karma tried her best to control herself, but the tears were flowing down her eyes. Her hands started shaking and she began to struggle breathing. _Please, God no. Stop this, Karma. Breathe, just calm down._ The brunette took out her cellphone and tried several times to call the same number. When she got it right, she put the phone over her ear and prayed for someone to answer.

_Hello? _

"…"

_Who is this? _

"… Z-Zen?"

_Karma? What is it? Is everything all right? _

"…Zen, I-I can't bre-breathe…I…"

_Woah, where are you? Talk to me, sis._

"…school. I screwed up…Amy, she… she wo-won't talk to me…a-and"

_Ok, ok. Calm down. Try to breathe normally, ok? In and out. Just do what I'm doing. _

Zen started to breathe loudly on the phone so that Karma could pace her breathing to his. It took a couple of minutes for the girl to calm down. Even though she felt better, she was still trembling so she laid her head on the cool table.

_That's it. Feeling better?... Now, tell me what happened. _

"I hurt Amy, Zen… Everything is my f-fault and now she is heartbroken and I-I know she will never forgive me…"

_Aren't you being a little dramatic? You two have been attached to the hip since you learned how to spell your names. You even wrote hers before yours_. When Karma started crying painfully, Zen realized that wasn't the time for joking. _Sis, listen to me. You can fix this, Amy loves you. She maybe needs some time, but I'm sure you can make it up to her. Right? _

"It's not that simple. I broke her heart."

_What do you mean?_

"She is in love with me."

_Oh, I see... And you don't feel the same? _

"Wh-what? Why are you even ask me that?"

_Just making sure, I don't know. You were so close that seeing you as a couple may have occurred to me once or twice. _

Karma stared blankly at the table. Had she ever shown or felt anything more than a platonic love for Amy? She loved her more than anyone else, but she was her best friend. Her other half… a platinic one. Right?

_So, you're telling me that you said no to her? You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Amy is the one who has to deal with the rejection. She'll get over it. _

"What if she doesn't?"

_Have a little faith, Karms. In the meantime you will have to hang out with other people._

"That's the problem, Zen. I don't have any other friends."

_What happened to all your twitter followers and Instagram fans? I'm sure some of them go to Hester's high. _

"No one cares about me. They only liked me because I was the new trending topic", Karma admitted sadly. People had been nice to her because she was popular, but now that _that _was gone nobody was interested in her.

_I don't know what to say, Karma. I'm sorry._

"Could you please come home?... Please, I-I need to get my head off of things."

_I don't know, sis. We have a lot of work right now and…_

"Please, Zen. I beg you. I can't do this. It hurts too much". Zen could hear her breaking again.

_Ok, let me talk to my supervisor. Maybe I can manage to take my days off this weekend. I'll do my best, ok? I promise. But you will have to do something for me._

"…"

_Stay calm, all right? Focus on school, do your homework, try to sleep. We'll see each other in a few days… Karma, I have to go. Be safe, ok? Tell mom and dad that I'll try to come and visit. Love you._

"Love you too. Thanks, Zen".

_Anytime. If you need anything or you feel that you're freaking out again, call me. See you soon. Bye._

By the time Karma hung up, it was already too late to go to her next class. Lunch had been over for about 20 minutes. Her body ached and she was starting to feel dizzy. She tried to stand up but she tottered and fell back on her seat.

"Hey, careful there. Are you feeling ok?"

Karma looked up and met a concerned looking Shane. He towered over her holding his bag on one shoulder.

"What do you care?" she said coldly.

"Well, first I feel terrible about breaking you and Liam, but you have to understand that it was my duty as his best gay friend".

"Why don't you just leave me alone", Karma tried to walk away but her vision went black and she fell light-headed. Shane caught her and held her upright.

"And second, you look awful and it seems that you need to get home. The fact that you screwed with the hearts of my two best friends doesn't mean that I don't care about you. You're a nice girl, Karma. You just need to sort your priorities". The girl felt guilty for attacking him, but was also jealous of him being Amy's new _bff_. She knew better than to say anything about that and let Shane guide her to his car. Somehow, she got under the impression that he had been watching over her since lunch time. Maybe he was truly sorry and wanted to redeem himself. In any case, she was grateful for the scape plan. She could use some sleep.

Shane drove her home in silence. When he stopped in front of her house he smiled sadly and wished her good night. Karma nodded and watched him drive away; he seemed genuinely sorry, but he was right. Shane was friends with Amy, not her. She had forgotten to make meaningful acquaintances while she was popular, and now she would have to pay the price.


	3. Stepfather

Now it's time for chapter three! I'm really sorry for the delay. I tried to steal some time of my nights to write down a coherent story, but most days that wasn't possible. However, now this is done. It's Amy's turn to speak up her mind. Thank you so much for the support and reading

Lots of love coming your way.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

Well, she had survived a week of hell. Not unharmed, but she was still breathing and eating once or twice a day. Farrah and Bruce had spent a couple of days in Hawaii for their honeymoon leaving the girls by themselves. Lauren had watched over Amy, even though she did her best to pretend she didn't care at all about her stepsister's well-being. The little blond had to force food down Amy's throat a couple of times, but after two days of struggle Amy gave up and decided that eating wasn't such a bad idea… it was little comfort, but she needed as much as she could get.

Once the newlyweds were back home, Farrah did her best to ignore Amy's mood. She would chat casually about work and the weather and do everything in her power to avoid the subject of a certain Ashcroft. It was one thing dealing with a lesbian daughter, but a breakup was worse; especially if you couldn't hide the smile after hearing the news. Farrah didn't know what to say to Amy; after all she was relieved it was over. When Bruce realized that Amy was looking worse every day, he spoke to his wife and pressured her to do something about it. "It's none of my business", she said and changed the subject. They fought quietly over the matter, but nothing he said could change Farrah's attitude. She would not do anything, Amy had to learn from her mistakes and go back to the righteous way of God.

It had been almost two weeks since the wedding and Amy seemed as miserable as ever. Yes, she was eating, but everyone at home could hear her sob at night and roll on her bed while trying to fight the insomnia. Lauren didn't try to convince Farrah that Amy needed a serious intervention, but she expressed her concern to her dad.

"I mean, I don't know her that well, but this can't continue. Dad, when you were gone she was basically starving herself to death. Amy is a total mess right now and, to be honest, I'm getting tired of all the weeping. I can't look after her, she is a grown girl… Besides this is Farrah's responsibility, not another issue where Christianity does a miracle."

Bruce didn't answer, but he nodded. If his wife didn't want to deal with this, then he would. He didn't know Amy either, but he was willing to start at some point. And he was starting to think that his stepdaughter could do something stupid, like hurt herself. He was too familiar with that and wasn't going to let it happen again.

-o-o-o-

That Friday night, Farrah, Amy and Bruce sat down for dinner. Lauren had escaped the family tension in order to rehearse her dance routine with Pablo. Dinner was very quiet. Bruce and Farrah had fought again over Amy, who didn't seem to be aware of her surroundings. She had been in autopilot for a couple of days now; that meant spending seven hours at school, making no eye-contact at home, pretending to nap, playing with food instead of eating it, and answering questions, when heard, with two basic head movements. The situation was getting out of control, so Bruce decided to take a bold first step.

"Amy, have you heard from Karma?"

Amy froze into place and dropped her fork, while Farrah gasped as if they had mentioned a satanic curse. Bruce ignored her and focused his attention on the blond girl. She raised her eyes, scared, and met his, not able to say anything.

"Amy, sweetheart, eat your peas. They're good for you," said Farrah trying to, again, change the subject.

"Don't do that, Farrah. I just want to know if Amy has seen her friend."

"Well, of course she hasn't. That girl, I always told you this Amy, is no good news. With her hippie parents and all… they don't share our values."

"Let her speak, honey."

"No, you know as well as me that their radical and anarchic ideas are bad for the community. That daughter of theirs, she corrupted my Amy. She was good and innocent, and then all of a sudden, she has a girlfriend?", Bruce tried to stop her but Farrah had to state her opinion. "I told you something was wrong: the way she talked to Amy, the way she acted… I should have seen it. I could have…"

"What, mother? You could have what? Prevented it? Is that what you were going to say?", Farrah was caught off guard. First, because Amy hadn't spoken in days; and second, because her daughter looked fierce and furious. "Haven't it occurred to you that, maybe, just maybe, I don't share your values either? I'm a lesbian, mother, and I couldn't care less about God. And yes, I will burn in hell for all I care. But that doesn't make me unworthy of being your daughter. You want to know why I loved Karma so much? Because she was there for me, she protected me from you. You were the one that always pushed me away, making me feel bad about myself. Well, congratulations, you're innocent daughter is back, you don't have to worry about Karma anymore", Amy got up and threw her plate in the sink. "And by the way, Karma is not gay, just me."

Farrah was shocked, and Bruce thought that she had it coming. She deserved Amy's attack. It had been harsh, but his wife needed to learn where to lay her loyalty: with her family. Having a lesbian as a daughter could be hard, but it was even harder for Amy. She needed someone to back her up, and for the moment she felt abandoned. Lauren's father finished his meal in silence. Farrah needed to calm herself and do some thinking. In the meantime he would try to make a difference and protect Amy from herself.

-o-o-o-

A couple of hours later, Bruce went upstairs to see Amy. They had heard her slam the door and put on really loud music. She was probably muffling her sobbing, Bruce thought sadly. He was reliving everything again.

Lauren had been unreachable for months, only strident classical music coming out of her room. She hadn't spoken either and Bruce, not knowing how to handle the situation, shut himself out too. He was as much in pain as his daughter; after all, his wife had died. However, leaving Lauren by herself had been the worst mistake he had ever made. The young man –he was only 35– had to accidentally find his daughter cutting her arms one night, to realize that they both had hit rock bottom. He ran into the bathroom and took away the shaving blade that Lauren had in her hand. She was only ten and she managed to say "I just wanted to feel something again". They both cried in each other's arms until dawn. They promised each other to never leave the other alone and started a slow healing process. It had been six years since that terrible night, but Bruce still remembered the cold panic when he saw the blood.

Of course, the situation with Amy was different. No one had died, but a broken heart could throw you to the edge just as well. Amy was a grown girl, and a very mature one; however that didn't mean that she could handle her loneliness for much longer. Her best friend was gone, and as far as he knew they had never been apart; and her mother was relishing in her pain as if Amy deserved such a horrible punishment.

Bruce took a deep breath and knocked, when he heard a "Leave me alone, mom!" he opened the door slowly. Amy had gotten up from bed, tears streaming down her eyes, in an attempt to throw Farrah out but she stopped when she saw Bruce standing at the door.

"Can we talk, kiddo?", the man asked feeling uncomfortable. Amy dropped her eyes and walked to the other side of the room shielding her body behind crossed arms.

That wasn't a welcome, but Bruce didn't felt rejected either so he stepped in. He looked around curiously; he had never been inside the bedroom before. He could tell a lot of Amy's personality at first sight. She was so different from her mother; dark colors everywhere, comfortable cloths and footwear, a couple of sci-fy books and a collection of postcards nailed on the wall. Bruce wondered how on earth Farrah and Amy had managed not to kill each other for so long. It was obvious that the grown woman had tried to invade Amy's room with her feminine touch. The walls were pinkish underneath the posters and photos.

Bruce felt Amy's eyes on him but he didn't show his nervousness. He pointed to the ceiling.

"That's nice", he said casually while Amy stared at him half scared, half annoyed.

When her stepfather took the broken frame of the photo of the two best friends dressed up as the Wizard of Oz, Amy snapped.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk. Amy, I'm worried."

Amy didn't reply and avoided his eyes. She opened her mouth to say something.

"Don't try to tell me that you're fine, and save the sarcasm for your mother", he said rather harshly. Bruce sighed and tried to stay calm. He was there to reassure Amy, not to start a fight.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Why don't you talk to me? It'll make you feel better."

"There's no point. Talking isn't going to help!"

"Have you tried it yet?", Amy looked hurt. She probably had wanted to talk to her mom, but she had found a giant wall of silence and a Farrah ready to scold her. "What happened between you and Karma? I never quite understood why everything went to hell."

Amy was surprised to hear Bruce talking like that; she was even more surprised with the fact that he seemed to genuinely care. She sat down on the edge of the bed and played with the hem of her doughnut T-shirt. Somehow the blond girl narrated the whole story in a few minutes. How Karma's wish to become popular had ended up being the reason why they had faked being a couple. How she, Amy, had realized that she had feelings for her best friend. And how Karma had rejected her in the worst possible way: admitting that she had slept and was in love with a hateful douchy boy named Liam Booker.

"He sounds like an ass", said Bruce. "What kind of guy claims to be all peace and tolerance while he messes around with someone that is already in a couple?"

"We weren't really a couple."

"Yes, but he thought you were and that didn't stop him."

"I think Karma did her part of the job by seducing him, too", said Amy plainly.

"And she is still with this guy?"

"No, he dumped her."

"So now is your chance to win her back", Bruce cheered. He was trying to find the silver lining in the whole situation. As a response Amy showed him the saddest smile he had ever seen.

"I can't. I let myself believe that she felt something, but she didn't. She was just pretending to be okay with me while hooking up with Liam. And I was so stupid. She was lying to me, for the first time, and I decided to confess my feelings and now…"

"Now what?"

"Now I can't stand being around her."

"Why? Did she did something to you?"

"NO!", Amy stood up and started passing up and down the room. "She is acting like the victim. She is always so…so sad and seems miserable all the time…and, I can't do it."

"Do what?"

"I can't let myself go back to her. I hate seeing her sad, it kills me. But she is the one who broke my heart. She hurt me first and I should be left in peace to mourn, and everyday…everyday I see her and I have to control myself and try not to care anymore."

"But you can't."

"No and it hurts so…much", Amy stopped and started crying uncontrollably. "I miss her. She is my best friend and I don't know how I'm supposed to move on. We were going to be together no matter what and now… Every time I see Karma my heart stops because I love her and I hate her, and I want it to stop. How do I make it stop?!" Brue got up the bed and approached Amy not sure what to do next. "It hurts in here", Amy pointed at her chest. "I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I'm losing it. Make it stop, please! I don't want to feel anything anymore."

The next thing Amy knew was that Bruce was hugging her, tightly. She was shocked. They have never been this close. In fact, Amy couldn't remember a time when they had even touched. She could see his shirt in front of her eyes, and smelled his cologne. It felt so surreal; Amy didn't remember either when was the last time someone paternal had hugged her. She hadn't realized how much she had missed something like that until now.

Bruce felt Amy's tension, but didn't let go. He was shocked too. He felt as if he had moved too fast and he was invading her space. For a fraction of a second he regretted his decision and he was about to let go, when he felt Amy's arms close behind his back. The blonde girl pressed her face against Bruce's chest and started sobbing painfully. He stroked her hair and leaned in to speak softly over her ear.

"I understand the urge of wanting to turn off your feelings, but that is not the answer. I had to learn that the hard way and there's no way I'm letting you do that same mistake. I know how it is to feel that your heart is burning and digging a hole in your chest. When Lauren's mom died I thought I had lost everything; I almost lost my daughter. But you know what? Time heals and you'll find love somewhere else," Bruce pulled Amy and took her face between his hands. "I found your mother, didn't I? I know that she can be difficult sometimes, but let me deal with her, okay? Right now what you need to do is forgive yourself and focus on getting through life a day at a time. You'll see it gets easier. And when it doesn't you can always count on me, understood?"

Amy nodded quietly and gave him a shy smile. Then someone on the door cleared their throat. Bruce and Amy turned to find Lauren leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed. There was no way to tell how much of the conversation she had heard. She looked confused, but there was a soft look crossing her eyes.

"Dad, I need you to sign some papers for school."

Bruce nodded, turned to Amy and kissed her forehead. He wished her goodnight and stepped out of Amy's bedroom with a confident smile. Lauren let him through before turning to her step-sister with a defying look.

"Don't worry, Lauren. I won't steal him from you", said Amy a little annoyed and embarrassed.

"I don't mind sharing. After all, your mom seems to like me better every day," the little bossy girl turned to leave.

"He is amazing. You're lucky to have him in your life," Amy admitted.

"Yes, we both are."


	4. Choices

Hi, everyone. Thanks again for all the support. I'm so amazed by how many people have read this story… so many different nationalities too :). The next chapter will probably be ready after the release of the second season, so let's see how much influence it may have in my future storyline.

But for the moment, we're back on track: half of the chapter is for Karma, the other half for Amy. They'll start interacting with each other soon. Enjoy,

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

Zen hadn't been able to take his days off when Karma asked him to, but he managed to fly to Texas three weeks later to spend a long weekend with his family. His parents had been letting him know how Karma was doing, and for what he heard on the phone things hadn't improved that much. His sister had managed to eat and sleep almost normally, but she didn't do much with her time. Once she got back from school she would either lock herself in her room or follow her mother around in order to distract herself. Mrs. Ashcroft would have loved that, if her daughter hadn't looked so feverish all the time.

Right now, Zen and his parents were sitting in the living room waiting for Karma to get back from school. They were discussing the situation and trying to come up with a plan to cheer her up at least for a few days. They were writing down a list of all the things they needed from the organic grocery store when the front door opened. Karma appeared a few seconds later, short of breath and all red faced. When she saw her brother, she ran towards him and almost knocked him down by throwing her arms around his neck.

"You didn't have to come running. I wouldn't have gone anywhere, you know?", as a response Karma hugged him even tighter. When she let go of him, her eyes were moist. "Okay, rule number one for this weekend, no tears whatsoever or I'll start crying too and that would just be a bummer." The young girl let out a little laugh and Zen noticed how moved his mother looked. She probably had missed her smile as much as he had.

-o-o-o-

A few hours later, after hearing all of Zen's adventures and funny stories, he and Karma were cutting vegetables for the pizzas they were going to put in the oven. The girl hadn't said much during the afternoon, but everyone at home noticed her relax for the first time in weeks. She finally had her mind set on something different than her misery and loneliness. She even started humming under her breath.

After dinner, Karma and Zen sat down in the living room to watch their favorite movie: _The Phantom of the Opera_. When they were younger they would sing in duet and jump up and down the sofa reciting the dialogues. Mrs. Ashcroft excused herself and went to bed early in order to give them some privacy. Karma's dad walked to her and kissed her goodnight, he smiled at his son making him see how much they appreciated that he had come all this way to help his sister. When they were gone, Karma leaned on Zen's shoulder. After a few minutes, Zen broke the silence.

"You shouldn't make them worry like that."

"I know," she said sadly. "I'm trying to be okay, Zen. I swear. But sometimes…"

"You just can't. I get it, I'd been there."

"What do you mean?"

"Two years ago I fell for this girl, Charlotte. She was beyond beautiful, Karma. You have no idea. I was sure that she liked me back because of the way she talked to me. It wasn't until I made a total fool of myself in the Thanksgiving dance that she told me she was engaged." Zen focused on the TV screen, but Karma could see that he was remembering every detail of that night and that it still hurt. She felt her heart break; did that mean that she would never feel better and get over this? Would Amy hunt her for the rest of her life?

Zen noticed the tension around him and faced his sister.

"What I'm trying to say is that, this happens to everyone. We all mess up and end up feeling miserable and we think that the pain will never stop, but it will, Karma. I know it does. It takes time, and it is shitty, I'm not gonna lie. But one day, you'll get up and feel less numb and realize that you slept through the night."

"What happened with Charlotte?"

"She got married and left the Peace Corps. I thought I would never find my peace again, once she was gone, but I put my head in the game and worked my ass off. Exhaustion is a good remedy for a broken heart," he said with a sad smile. "It doesn't leave you with enough energy to grieve. What you need to do, Karma, is find something where to spend all your free time. You can't sit around in your room reliving your mistakes; that'll consume you."

"Okay, I'll try," Karma said, but then she looked worried. Zen asked her what was wrong. "It's just… in your story you never got a happy ending. And in this case, I'm Charlotte. Does that mean that Amy and I won't be able to fix this and be friends again?"

"There's no way to tell, sis. But sometimes the wisest thing to do is let go of the person you care about. That way you can both heal your wounds and, maybe, start over. For the moment you're on your own. What you need to do now is accept it, and make your peace with it. Being alone is not that bad."

"… I don't know about that, but I'll try it anyways. What choice do I have?"

-o-o-o-

Saturday morning, Zen went out for a walk. The Ashcroft had planned to get out of town to have a picnic and take some fresh air. His parents and Karma were making lunch and had insisted for him to get out of the house and visit some friends.

The boy had always been a terrible planner and he preferred the random encounters that the universe planned for him. He had never carried an agenda and yet he managed to stay in contact with a lot of people. Zen had learned that a relaxed and good disposition was the best formula to have a memorable unplanned day.

Zen saw a little café that he had never seen before, and decided to stop by and grab a coffee. He ordered a latté and, while he was waiting for his order, he heard a familiar voice.

"A black coffee, please. No sugar."

Zen was surprised to see her there. She looked tired and very pale. The characteristic glow of her blue eyes was gone, and he felt sorry for her. Once she paid she started texting someone, so the girl didn't notice him there.

"Z-Zen…? Your order is ready," said a confused barista.

"Thanks, man."

The boy noticed how the blond girl lifted her eyes to look at him. He pretended that he hadn't seen her there.

"Zen?"

"Oh, hey, Amy. Long time, no see," he smiled politely.

"What are you doing here?!" Raudenfeld asked rudely.

"It's nice to see you too, Ames. Always so thoughtful," he laughed at her rudeness. Amy blushed furiously and hugged him awkwardly while asking how he was doing.

"I'm good," Zen returned the hug. "I came home for the weekend. It's been too long since the last time I came to visit. And I needed some time off, so, here I am."

"That's…great. I hope you enjoy yourself." Amy looked uncomfortable. Zen knew that she was wondering if the drama between her and Karma was the real reason he was there. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Your family is probably waiting for you."

"Don't worry about it, they're making sandwiches or something for lunch. I have a free hour." Zen pointed to an empty table. "Do you want to sit down? I would love to catch up with you."

"Ahh… I was…S-sure."

They waited in silence for Amy's coffee to come out and then they sat down in a table near the window. The blond girl was very nervous. She hadn't seen Zen in years and she couldn't stop noticing how handsome he was. His auburn hair fell over his eyes and he shook his head to get it out of the way. He had a beautiful smile and bright green eyes, just like Karma's. Amy had had a long silent crush for Zen since she was twelve; she thought he was dreamy and super smart. The problem was that he had always treated her as another little sister.

Zen was drinking his latté looking outside the window, he was always like that. He told you he wanted to talk and then he spent ten minutes in silence being all "zen". From the angle Amy was sitting she noticed something for the first time. He was almost identical to Karma… maybe that was the true reason behind her crush. She liked him because he reminded her of the girl she had been secretly in love with. The thought made her sad; her crush had been a fraud all along and that meant that she was doomed. No compensation possible.

"Is everything all right? You haven't touched your coffee," she shrugged. "Look, Amy. We both know why I'm here," Zen felt her built a wall of self-defense and thought that she would run away any second. "I wanted to talk to you because I need to know what really happened. Karma's side of the story tends to be a little biased," he said playfully.

Amy didn't laugh at the joke. She was wondering how much did Zen knew and how did he felt about her.

"I don't think this is a good idea, she is your sister. What if you don't like what I tell you or whatever I say makes you hate me."

"Since when do you care about what I think?"

"I don't have time for this." Amy stood up and was going to leave, but Zen grabbed her gently by the arm.

"All I know is that Karma was the one who convinced you to act as lesbians, just because she wanted to impress a douchebag that has now dumped her. She told me that along the way you fell for her. I just want to know if that's the truth."

"Yes. I guess that, for once, her story wasn't biased." Amy sat down and sighed when Zen pointed to her chair. "What else do you want to know?"

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Come on, Amy. I care about you. I've known you since you were a clumsy little girl, and I can tell when you're lying."

"You Ascrofts have me all figured out, don't you?" Amy knew she wasn't getting out of there without saying something. She wanted to lie to get it over with, but somehow she needed to be honest with someone who knew her and that could give her good advice. "I wish I could take it all back."

"You mean to have never started the fake lesbian relationship?"

"No, not that. My feelings for Karma would have eventually come out, with or without her brilliant plans. I wish I had never told her I loved her."

"You don't mean that," Amy looked confused. "Look me in the eye and tell me that confessing your feelings wasn't the most thrilling and freeing experience of your life," now she was shocked. "Yes, everything is a mess now, but for a few seconds the world made sense, didn't it?" Zen leaned back and finished his drink. Amy hadn't touched hers, but she was waiting for the rest of the boy's words. "Trust me, Ames. You did the right thing. As you said, it was a matter of time before you had the need to tell Karma how you felt. Never regret saying 'I love you', there's nothing wrong with it."

"But Karma hates me."

"No she doesn't. What made you think that?," Amy looked away hiding the first tears. "I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but my sister is not talking to you because she is ashamed of what she did, of how she reacted to your confession. She didn't know what to do or say. I know that Karma is trying her best to figure things out, just as much as you are. She misses you like crazy, but she's afraid that _you_ hate her."

"So this is all a big misunderstanding?" Amy asked with hope.

"I wouldn't say that. As far as I know, my sister doesn't feel the same about you and I'm pretty sure that just going back to being bff's is not what you really want," Zen took Amy's hand and played with her fingers. "I'm sorry if that came out rather harsh, but I figured you didn't want me to sweeten things up. I'm gonna tell you what I told Karma: let her go and focus on yourself. If things are meant to be, they'll happen."

Amy squeezed his hand and looked him in the eye. What he had said was painful, but true. She had wanted to tell Karma about her feelings; that had been her decision. She had fulfilled her part of the deal and her best friend had answered. Zen was right, she didn't hate her, she just didn't feel the same…and that had to be okay. Amy had to accept Karma's decision. If she didn't love her like that, then she would have to move on and get over her… alone.

Zen could see Amy's stream of thought and was relieved of how things had turned out. He was returning some peace to two girls that had lost all hope.

"Come here, blondie. Give me a hug. You'll be fine, both of you."

Amy sighed over his shoulder, what choice did she had.


	5. Broken

So it seems I had time to upload another chapter earlier than expected. This week I didn't have a lot of work so I used my free time to write this down. We're now in the core of the story, the reason I called it "Solitude". I hope you enjoy it.

Get ready for the second season release (I'm so excited).

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

The long weekend had flown by and Karma was now standing at the front door saying goodbye to Zen. He was wearing his sandy Peace Corps clothes again. His sister was silently crying on his shoulder while he whispered that everything would be okay. He let go of her, kissed her forehead and walked to the car. Karma's parents would drive Zen to Dallas in order for him to take a plane that would get him to his camp.

"In theory will be back tonight, but with the storm coming I'm not sure if we'll be able to get out of Dallas in time," said Mr. Ashcroft hugging Karma goodbye.

"Stay at home and lock all the windows and doors, sweetie. We will be back as soon as possible, all right? If you need anything… call us," said Mrs. Ashcroft a little nervous. She had been about to say _if you need anything, you can always stay at Amy's_ but that wasn't a possibility anymore.

"I'll be fine, mom. It's only one night. I'll see you tomorrow."

Karma waved them goodbye and waited for the car to disappear around the corner. It was already noon, but the day looking grim. Dark gray clouds were forcing their way into the city. A tropical storm had been announced a few days back, but it had recently changed its course and it was meant to hit Texas pretty hard. Karma felt the first raindrops on her head and hurried back in. She locked the door and went upstairs to make sure the windows were closed. She was starting to regret staying home. She had wanted to be by herself for a few hours, sheltered in her room, but the idea of being stuck alone in the middle of the worst storm of the year started to freak her out. She had never liked thunder storms, and being alone made her really uneasy. The whole situation sucked, and it brought back many bad memories. The auburn haired girl closed the curtains to ignore the rain outside and went to the kitchen to get something to eat. _I'll be fine; it's just a little rain. I'm safe here. What's the worst that can happen?_ Right there she stopped thinking because a flood or a collapsed ceiling were paranoid but possible outcomes of tonight's storm.

She fixed herself a sandwich and forced it down although her appetite was gone. She tried to distract herself watching TV but the thunders outside kept her on edge. After half an hour of stress, Karma decided to go upstairs and sleep it off. However when she got to her room, she froze. She really didn't want to be alone. It was very dark outside and with the lights turned off her room reminded her of the freaking camp's tool shed. She hadn't thought about that incident in years…mostly because she felt stupid about it. But right now, all by herself and with furious rain hitting the windows, all that past fear started to overwhelm her again. Without thinking she ran into Zen's room where the bed was still undone. She lied down there, covering her head with the blanket and burying her face in the pillow. It smelled like her brother and Karma tried her best to find some comfort in that, imagining she wasn't alone. Tensed as she was sleep kept escaping her, but eventually her body gave in to exhaustion.

-o-o-o-

_The summer of 2004, Karma and Amy had been sent to a summer camp in California. It was the first time either of them had travelled alone and were away from their families. However, having each other there helped them forget about Texas right away. They had fun running around new kids, playing sports, climbing trees and burning marshmallows in bonfires. _

_Everything had been great if not for the typical group of rich douchy kids who felt superior to the other children. Amy and Karma had made a few friends, but they mostly had kept to each other. For some lame reason the group of twelve year-old boys had started picking on them, calling them names. The two girls were so used to that, that they didn't care as much, but eventually Karma started to feel embarrassed about her non-existent sport skills. Amy cheered her up every day and reminded her of how stupid boys were, so things weren't as bad. The problem came when she, Karma, was ambushed. _

_Their last night in camp the instructors planned a midnight rally. The large group of kids was divided into smaller clicks of six people. Each team was formed randomly in order to force the kids to bond for one last time. Faith stated that Karma would end up teaming up with _the _douchiest boy of the camp, Elijah, while Amy had the good luck to be paired up with Krystal, one of her new friends. Amy was worried for her best friend, but Karma put on a brave face and dismisses Amy's concerned look. She mouthed to her that it was okay, it was just a stupid rally and she didn't care anyways. After that, Amy and Karma were separated and went on to follow the leads and complete challenges. _

_An hour or so later, after running up and down the dark camp, Elijah pointed to a little structure right on the edge of the path they were following. _

"_We need supplies," he said urgently and ran to the tool shed. Karma didn't know why they needed to collect anything, but she followed anyways since she wasn't the one holding the written instructions. _

"_Go ahead, Ashcroft. Go in there and find us some rope," Elijah said innocently. _

"_Why me? What are you going to do with it?" she asked confused. She didn't want to get in trouble. _

"_Because! I SAID we needed supplies, we're supposed to climb to the tree tower and it's gonna be easier if we have a rope. Besides, you haven't done anything for the team yet, so go on!" he pushed her inside and waited at the threshold as if watching for instructors. _

_They _were_ cheating, Karma knew, but she entered anyways because she didn't want any problems with Elijah. When she reached the end of the shed and didn't see any rope, she had a bad feeling. Just then the door was shut, and she heard laughter and running feet getting away from the shed. _

"_Hey! Elijah? What are you doing?!" she screamed trying to open the door which was locked from outside. _

"_Sorry Ashcroft, you were slowing us down." And with that he left._

"_Let me out! Elijah, please, let me out! HELP"_

_Karma started hitting the door with her fists trying to catch someone's attention but it was worthless. The tool shed was far away from the bonfire where all the kids were starting to gather together. No one would hear her. _

_Inside the shed was complete darkness, the only light came from under the door. The little girl started crying desperately. She was horrified and started to have a panic attack. It had been forever since she felt one, so it took her by surprise. _

"_AMY! AMY! PLEASE, CAN SOMEBODY HEAR ME?! HELP!" she screamed before her lungs and throat started to shut down. Karma retreated to the back of the shed and collapsed on the floor crying and struggling to breathe. She sat down in a ball and buried her face on her knees rocking back and forth. "Amy… please, help me…" she said weakly between ragged breaths. She felt like drowning. Being left alone was her deepest fear and a stupid boy had been able to figure it out to torture her. _

-o-o-o-

A sudden and loud crashing sound woke up Karma. She wasn't sure if it had been a thunder or something else, but she was shaken all the same and stayed pinned in the bed, not wanting to move. The cold panic of the dream had invaded her. Dreaming about being trapped inside the dark cold shed wasn't helping her nerves… and waking up in complete darkness wasn't either. She tried to turn on the nightstand light with shaky hands, but found that the power was gone. Karma cursed under her breath and took out her phone and read a message from her mother: "_Zen is already in the plane. Fortunately they didn't cancel the flight. Storm has arrived to Dallas, so we'll stay the night. Be careful. xxxx mom"._ The girl groaned in frustration, she really didn't want to spend the night alone, not after the nightmarish memories. She was still lying down, curled up, when she heard another bang which was definitely not a thunder.

Karma stood up, frightened, thinking on the possibility of being attacked in the middle of a storm. She grabbed a baseball bat from her brother's closet and went downstairs slowly. A deafening thunder and lightning scared the hell out of her and almost made her fall down the stairs. She collected herself and lifted the bat over her head; she had to at least look menacing. The noises were coming from the kitchen. When she stepped in she couldn't see a thing.

"Who's there?! I warn you, I'm armed and crazy so don't tempt me!," nobody answered. After a few seconds, another lighting illuminated the room. Karma saw that the backdoor was swinging open and banging on the wall because of the strong wind and rain. She left the bat over the kitchen table along with her phone and ran to close the god-damn door. The second she stepped out the house to grab the doorknob, she was soaked to the bone. The rain was pouring like ice buckets and the wind was so strong she couldn't even move the door inwards. She was starting to freak out again because the thunders were getting louder by the minute and she felt as if they would fall over her head any second. Nothing like a tropical storm to trigger your most inner fears.

Karma's efforts to pull the door towards her were working. Suddenly, the direction of the wind changed slamming the door into the doorframe and throwing the girl inside. The glass of the little windows exploded sending shards everywhere, and Karma covered her face instantly while she fell backwards. She felt a stabbing pain in her hand and saw a piece of glass stuck deep in her palm. She took it out immediately and pressed her hand to her chest sobbing.

Instinctively, the girl crawled as far of the broken glass as possible and crashed in the floor near the fridge grabbing her cellphone. She felt the stickiness of the blood running down her wrist and elbow, while the sharp pain of the laceration made her dizzy. She sat down trying to breathe normally and control the bleeding, but she was starting to lose it. She needed to call someone before she passed out or bled to death.

-o-o-o-

Amy was sitting on her bed scanning the screen of her laptop. She and Lauren were alone at home because Farrah and Bruce had had to go to Bronxville and help Bruce's mother out. She lived by herself, and with the storm, the adults decided it wouldn't be a good idea to leave her alone. So they had left that morning. The stepsisters had been trapped inside the house all day and, to avoid any fights, they had remained in their own rooms or assigned spaces; kitchen for Amy, living room for Lauren. The lights hadn't gone down yet in their block so they were perfectly content.

Amy's phone started ringing. She pushed the speaker button distractedly while browsing more information about the new cooking show she saw on TV.

"Hello?"

"…"

"Shane, I told you I'm not coming over. No matter how bored you are, I don't want to drown myself on my way there."

"A-Amy?"

The broken voice on speaker caught Amy's attention. She looked over her shoulder and saw Karma's picture flashing on the screen. It was so weird seeing her face there; they haven't called each other for weeks. Amy didn't know what to do; she just stared at her phone.

"…Amy…I-I…" a thunder made the windows shake, Amy looked around worried. "I-I'm scared, Amy. I didn't know who else to…call."

The blonde girl heard the tears of her best friend in the other side of the line, she sounded like a wounded animal and she got really worried. She took the phone immediately.

"Karma, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I can't do this, Amy. I feel like I can't breathe…"

"Where are you? Where are your parents?"

"They took Z-Zen to Dallas and they're not coming b-back until tomorrow. Please, Amy… it hurts…"

"Stay where you are, okay? I'll be right there."

Amy didn't know why or what she was doing, but something in Karma's voice was terribly wrong and it made her very anxious. She should have figured this out: storms, being alone, Karma, were always a bad combination. Since they were kids, every stormy night Karma would crawl to her side, bury her face in her neck and close her eyes really tight because she was scared. Amy had always found it funny, even though she was afraid of darkness, but she still stroked her hair to soothe her to sleep.

Amy thought about Karma when the storm was announced, but she didn't think twice about it because they weren't together anymore… in any sense. However, that phone call put her on edge. Karma wasn't just scared, she sounded genuinely broken and she had to go and help her. Amy put on a pair of sneakers and took the first handbag she found in her closet along with a thick jacket.

"WHAT are you doing?" yelled Lauren from the sofa when she saw Amy getting ready to go out.

"I have to go see Karma," Amy said while buttoning her jacket.

"WHAT?! Why on earth would you do that?!"

"She called, she needs me. She is all by herself."

"WE'RE BY OURSELVES TOO." Lauren was standing in front of the door, blocking Amy's way out.

"This is different, Lauren! She is not okay, I heard her. Something's wrong."

"Whatever it is, she'll get through it. You can't leave, Amy. It's the fucking end of the world out there!"

"Lauren, I really have to go. I'll call you when I get there," Amy said while pushing her stepsister aside.

The little blond saw Amy disappear under the rain and yelled after her.

"AMY, COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! IF YOU DIE, FARRAH IS GONNA KILL ME!"


	6. Melt down

We're still at the core of the story. After this episode, feelings are gonna be shaken in order to crawl their way back to Karmy love… eventually. I'm getting new ideas and this could be longer than expected. Originally this and last episode were going to be a oneshot but I decided to see how creative I could be with the introduction and development of the characters' past and future.

Anyways, thank you all sooooo much for following or favoriting (I know that's not actually a word) the story. It makes me so happy to see the readers' activity and knowing that my English writing, that's not my first language, is getting through the way I wanted.

THE PREMIERE OF SEASON TWO IS AIRING RIGHT THIS SECOND AND I CAN'T WATCH IT! Agghhh Why don't I live in the US.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

After a really long run, from her house to Karma's, Amy thought that she'd never get dry again in her entire life. The thunder storm was unbelievable; no one would've expected that amount of water to pour down the black sky. Noah probably faced something like that back in his time.

"Karma! Karma, open the door!" Amy was slamming the front door with her fists. "KARMA, IT'S ME!"

Soon after that, she realized that the girl inside couldn't hear her over the rain and thunder, so she started looking around for a hidden spare key. She found one over the threshold and got herself inside the house.

Amy called Karma's name and was dashing towards the stairs when she heard a whimper coming from the kitchen. Without hesitating she ran in that direction but when she got to the mosaic floored room she slipped over the wet surface. She crashed to the floor hurting her lower back and muffled a pained scream by greeting her teeth. Amy felt her spine on fire and for a second she didn't dare to move, but a sobbing figure to her left made her react differently.

Karma was curled in a ball, her back on the fridge's door, holding her knees in a mortal grip. Amy saw her shaking and hyperventilating and crawled immediately to her side. She called her name softly twice, but Karma was so scared she didn't seem to have noticed Amy's presence. The blonde girl had a _déja-vu_: a dark shed in a summer night when she found her best friend drowning in tears in the middle of a panic attack. She had learned how deal with that kind of situations; she had to be careful when approaching Karma.

Amy got on her knees in front of the scared girl and called her name again reaching slowly for her arms. When Amy put her hands on Karma's shoulders, her head snapped up terrified. Her clouded eyes met Amy's, who felt her heart sink.

"Hey... shhhh… Karma, it's me. It's okay, I'm right here" she said while cupping Karma's face with her hands. She stroked the girl's tears with her thumbs reassuring her.

"A-Amy?" Somehow Karma started crying even harder than before, although these were tears of relief. Amy hugged her tightly and felt how her friend gripped tightly her t-shirt with her right hand.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Amy asked letting Karma go, but staying close to her. Karma nodded weakly and Amy turned around to try to figure out why Karma was all wet and sitting in the kitchen floor. A lightning showed her the broken glass shards all over the place. Something slick and dark, a liquid of some sort, went all the way from the closed door to where she was crouching. She looked to her feet and saw what had made her slip in the first place: blood. Amy turned to face Karma and saw her clenching her left hand to her chest where a blood stain had formed. It was also dripping down her arm.

"Oh, my God. Karma, you're bleeding!" she said stupidly while taking a towel from the counter and pressing it to Karma's palm. The girl winced in pain, but didn't stop Amy who was concentrating very hard in not fainting. She couldn't stand the sight of blood, and she was praying to an all mighty deity so that she wouldn't pass out right that second.

"Come on, we need to get you out of those wet clothes and do something about your hand," said Amy with renewed force. She helped Karma to her feet and held her. She was very pale because of the blood loss, and Amy was starting to panic. What if she needed a real doctor? How on earth was she supposed to take Karma to the hospital without a car or a freaking driver's license?

Amy half dragged, half carried Karma up the stairs into her room. She sat her down and told her to hold still while applying pressure to the wound. The blonde girl ran towards the bathroom and searched everywhere for a first aid kit. She cursed under her breath when she found a whole cabinet filled with medicinal plants –that she evidently didn't know how to use– and homeopathic bottles. Damn the new age-hippie-nonscientific-manners of the Ashcrofts. She needed alcohol, a bandage, anything remotely modern. Hidden on the lower drawer, Amy found what she was looking. She also took a towel and some fresh water to clean Karma up.

When she returned to where her best friend was, she was trembling and sobbing silently. Amy sat down next to her and without saying a word she took the bloody kitchen towel off of Karma's hand. She carefully scrubbed most of the blood from the wounded palm and the arm.

"This is going to sting," Amy said nervously while preparing a piece of cotton with the alcohol. She thought that it would be better if she pressed firmly a couple of seconds instead of going around the wound for a long minute. Karma screamed in pain and turned her head the other way. Amy couldn't see much but after cleaning the blood Karma's palm didn't look that bad. There was a deep cut, but it wasn't bleeding a lot any more. She probably needed stiches, but she couldn't risk going out of the house this late at night; besides the nearest hospital was located a couple of miles away. Amy wrapped Karma's left hand in a clean bandage.

"I'll have to check this in an hour or so to see if it needs to be replaced."

The blonde girl had no idea if Karma had gone into a shock because she hadn't said anything since she recognized her in the kitchen. Her eyes were darker than usual and her body felt cold and limp.

"Let's get you into clean clothes."

Amy got up and chose a thick pajama, the one Karma loved. She helped the auburn haired girl out of her wrecked and bloody t-shirt and jeans. She didn't resist but acted shy; she was embarrassed about everything but was relieved Amy was there with her. Amy focused on dressing half-naked Karma as quickly as possible to get her warm; any doubts about the awkward situation weren't even there because she was so worried.

"Do you mind if I borrow some clothes? I'm freezing," Karma nodded and Amy took out some pants and a hoody that smelled like the other girl. She turned her back to Karma and took her clothes off. Even though she got dressed in a couple of seconds, Karma had followed her every move, quietly and confused. She saw Amy's bear back when she unhooked her bra, and her long legs once she got out of her cargo trousers. Karma felt a heavy and warm sensation inside of her, something good and bad at the same time. She was so tired she didn't give it any more thought. When Amy turned to face her she caught her eyes and blushed after realizing Karma had been probably watching. She smiled weakly and sat behind her mute friend.

"Come here," she said reaching for a brush.

Amy started combing Karma's hair. She took strands of hair and brushed them calmly. She felt the other girl relax a little while being touched. It had always been Karma's weakness. Amy loved to run her fingers through Karma's hair because she would just let her hold her near and scratch gently her scalp while they cuddled. This wasn't obviously like before, but Amy couldn't think of anything else that could calm Karma down.

A couple of minutes later Amy stopped. Karma opened her eyes returning to reality.

"I should probably go downstairs and clean a little," Karma looked at her as if she would run away and abandon her. "Let's put you to bed. You need to rest and sleep this off. You'll feel better in the morning."

Amy helped Karma into her bed and tugged her under the covers.

"If you need anything, yell." She smiled and received a small nod as an answer. She stroked Karma's cheek letting her know she wouldn't be far.

Once in the kitchen Amy tried her best to clean up. She swept the broken glass and scrubbed the floor to get rid of the blood. If Karma's parents arrived to a crime scene in the kitchen they would completely loose it and that would mess with their chakras. Yes, Amy had learned the basics of the new age movement and yoga after ten years of knowing the Ashcrofts.

She took her time downstairs. She even taped some plastic bags to the broken window to stop the rain from pouring inside the house. Amy wanted to give Karma enough time to go to sleep. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now. Should she sleep with her? No, bad idea. She had enough trouble trying to repress certain fantasies that crawled in her dreams every night. To have Karma in reach would drive her crazy. She had worked very hard to get over her the last couple of weeks. Amy thought that she had learned to handle the withdrawal, but it had all been a lie. The moment she saw Karma, crying and hurt, she only wanted to make it all go away; she felt the need to stay with her until she could smile again. She hadn't seen that bright smile since the wedding; she wondered if she had even smiled during the past month or so. She knew she hadn't.

In any case it would be better to sleep somewhere else… maybe Zen's room.

Amy got upstairs slowly trying to not make any noise, which was pointless since the storm continued outside. The thunders kept tearing the sky apart and the crashing wind was overwhelming. If Karma had waited an hour more before calling her for help, she wouldn't have been able to get out of her house.

Her cell rang.

It was Lauren.

"Shit"

_Where were you!? You were supposed to call hours ago!_

"Sorry, Lauren. I…"

_I thought you had drowned or something, dumbass._

"Yeah, thanks for the concern," Amy said rolling her eyes. She was too tired to fight back.

…_So, what happened with Karma? _Amy was surprised to hear a hint of concern in the other side of the line.

"She…ehmm… I found her in the kitchen in the middle of a panic attack."

_Is she okay? _

"Yeah, I think so. She hurt herself with broken glass of a window. I took care of the wound but there was a lot of blood, Lauren." Amy didn't know why she was explaining everything to her stepsister. She probably didn't care at all, but Amy needed to talk to someone to calm down and help her keep it cool.

_Wow, I didn't think… I thought she was just scared of being alone…_

"That too. She hates it, always have. I should have figured it out before she had the melt down" she said sadly.

_I guess it's a good thing you didn't listen to me when I tried to stop you._

"Sorry if I was rude, I was in a rush."

_Whatever. Now that I know for certain that you're still alive, I can sleep. Stay where you are. Don't you DARE come back, because you'll definitely die this time and I pretend to stay in good terms with your mother. _

"Right. Good night."

_However… you should probably try to come back home before dad and Farrah arrive. They won't like the idea of you staying at Karma's and of me not stopping your stupidities. We would both get in trouble._

"Okay, I'll be back by 8, but you'll have to open the door. I forgot my keys."

_Are you fucking kidding me? _

"Give me a freaking break, Lauren. Obviously I didn't think this through."


	7. The first time she said I love you

Awww the first episode of season two was hilarious. It's amazing how the characters seem to become deeper and more complex with just a few interventions. Farrah and Lauren had a great start, and now we saw a smarter and emotionally aware Karma. The facial expressions of Rita Volk kill me, she is perfect.

Storm's chapter ends with this, but there are more to come. This is not gonna be bright and funny like the TV show, but I like the emotional struggle. We've all been there.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

When Amy hung up she turned towards Zen's room. A loud crash outside the house made the windows shake furiously. A lightning must've hit somewhere near by…too close for Amy's comfort. She heard a pained whimper coming from Karma's. The girl was curled up holding her hands over her ears, trembling pathetically. In that instant Amy knew that she would not sleep by herself, she would not leave Karma alone that night.

She climbed on the bed and leaned over Karma from behind. She hugged her taking her hands between her own. Karma resisted a little. Amy pecked her cheek and spoke softly on her ear.

"Shhhh. It's okay. I'm right here."

As an answer the girl squeezed Amy's fingers and tried to steady her breathing. Amy kept saying soft words while watching tears scape her best friend's closed eyes. Something heavy in her chest made her extremely sad; she knew that the closeness between them would be interrupted the next morning and maybe would never happen again. Amy felt guilty for wishing the storm to never end. After a few minutes Karma stopped crying. She held still.

"…I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Karma. It's fine."

"No it's not! This is so stupid…It's just a storm… and I-I couldn't…" Amy forced Karma to face her by rolling her over.

"Stop it. You were scared, there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Why are you been so nice to me? Why would you even want to be with me after what I did?"

Amy copped Karma's face with one hand and moved close to her.

"Because I love you, dummy, and because you needed help. I'm glad you called… If something had happened to you…"

"So, you don't hate me?"

"Of course not. Sweetie, I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to. You're too adorable," Amy said lightly. Next thing she knew, Karma was leaning over and burying her face in her neck hugging her.

"Thank you for saving me again," Karma whispered.

"Always." The blonde returned the hug and stroked Karma's soft hair. Eventually, they both fell asleep. Karma was sore after her panic attack and Amy was exhausted from running down there and dragging her friend up the stairs. The loud storm kept tearing apart the sky for a few more hours, but sleep took over the two girls. They felt safe together. Unconsciously their legs entangled and their breaths evened to the same rhythm.

-o-o-o-

_Amy was sitting by the bonfire with Krystal. It was around 1:30 AM and they were exhausted after the midnight rally. Everyone was gathered around the fires chatting, singing or eating late night snacks. The two girls were cooking sausages with long sticks remembering all the funny things that had happened the last couples of days. Amy had looked around for Karma but her team hadn't returned yet. _

"_Hey, isn't that Elijah?"_

_The blonde turned her head towards where Krystal was pointing. The dark-haired boy was smirking at something while other boys celebrated whatever story he was telling. _

"_Where's Karma? She should be with them."_

"_Well I don't see her," said the Asian girl scanning the surroundings. Amy got up and walked to Elijah. _

"_Where's Karma? I've been waiting for her," she asked interrupting them._

"_Yeah, Elijah. Where's Karma?" a skinny boy mimicked and burst in laughter. _

_Amy didn't like that. Something was wrong. She looked around her and saw that the other boys and girls were trying to control themselves and keep a straight face. Elijah laughed cruelly, feeling proud about something._

"_Let's just say, she couldn't make it."_

_Elijah's back slammed against the nearest tree. Amy grabbed the collar of his hoody and pinned the boy against the wood violently. She was two years younger than the boy, but she was tall for her age and she wasn't afraid of him._

"_What did you do to her?!"_

"_Let go of me!" _

_Amy slammed him again. Krystal yelled her to stop. _

"_WHERE IS SHE?"_

"_She is in the tool shed… near the cabins," said a frightened girl. "Amy, you're hurting him."_

"_You locked her there?" she hissed to Elijah who was terrified._

"_It-it was just a joke!"_

"_Listen to me, shitface. She better be okay, because if something happened to her, I swear you'll be sorry of ever meeting me," and with that Amy pushed the boy aside, throwing him to the ground, and ran. Krystal followed with a flashlight. _

_When they got to the shed Amy saw that Elijah had stuck a wooden stick between the frame and the door so that Karma wouldn't be able to get out. She struggled a few seconds with the door before it flew open. In one corner of the little structure, Karma was curled up against the wall, rocking back and forth, crying uncontrollably. Amy ran inside, lightened by Krystal, and kneeled in front of her best friend._

"_Karma, Karma! Hey! It's me!" the blonde girl grabbed Karma's hands, but she snapped and scratched her. Amy held her hands firmly to stop any more attacks. "Stop it! Karma, it's me, Amy!"_

_The little auburn girl had difficulty breathing and her eyes were clouded with fear. She didn't seem to notice that who was holding her was Amy. Her hands had little lacerations due to the desperate banging on the door, and her clothes were covered in dirt. She looked like a crazy person and Amy even felt afraid of her. She started crying too, trying to control Karma. They struggled for a minute or two until Karma's eyes met Amy's. _

"_Karma, p-please, calm down. You're scaring me."_

"…_A-A-Amy?" the blonde felt relieved when she heard her name._

"_Are you okay?," she said filled with anxiety. Karma shook her head to the sides and started crying again. Amy hugged her for what felt like forever. _

_She hadn't noticed but everything was dark. Krystal had left at some point. The blonde didn't dare to move, but suddenly someone burst into the shed._

"_Girls, are you okay? What happened?!" an instructor asked._

"_A boy locked Karma inside as a prank. Amy and I came to get her out," explained Krystal. She had gone to get some help. _

"_Who was it?" The Asian girl didn't answer. She didn't felt comfortable ratting on someone._

"_It was Elijah… He did this!" Amy spat furious. She wanted him to be punished or she would truly take matters into her hands. _

"_Right," the instructor sighed as if not surprised. "I'll take care of this. I'll report the incident to the administration. That boy won't be doing any more summer camps around here."_

_After the young man helped Karma and Amy to get to their cabin, he left them alone. Krystal left after Amy thanked her for her help; she was staying somewhere else. Their roommates were still at the party so it was very quiet. Karma changed into her PJ's and washed her hands and face. Amy watched as she moved around like a ghost. She looked in pain and kept sobbing quietly. When she lied down on her bed, Amy joined her automatically. The auburn haired girl rested her head on the blonde's shoulder and scooted as close as possible, every muscle in her body ached. Amy hugged her and ran her fingers through Karma's hair as she liked, until she relaxed. However, the tears didn't stop._

"_Are you okay now?"_

_Karma nodded._

"_What happened to you? It seemed like you didn't know who I was."_

"…_panic attack."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because it used to happen to me all the time," Karma said sadly._

"_When?" Amy was confused; she had never seen her friend have one before._

"_Before we met. When I was little I…I had anxiety attacks. Being alone scares me."_

"_Why?"_

"_I don't know… I guess it's because I didn't have any friends before. Everyone thought I was weird."_

"_People are stupid. You're amazing," Amy said matter-of-factly. A minute later Amy spoke again,"Karma?"_

"…"

"_I love you. You know that, right?"_

"_I know."_

"_No, like…I love you more than anyone else in the world. I won't let anyone hurt you again, I promise."_

_Karma gazed at Amy and smiled sadly. That was what she had always wanted: to be loved; as simple as that. She nuzzled into Amy's neck and whispered "I love you too, Amy, more than you could ever imagine". She motioned towards her best friend's body and closed her eyes exhausted._

-o-o-o-

Karma opened her eyes. The room was very dark and her left hand was throbbing. She winced when she tried to move, everything hurt. She then noticed the weight of an arm around her waist. It was Amy's. She was hugging her from behind breathing quietly over her neck. Karma blushed furiously. She got off the bed and moved away trying not to wake her friend. From a safe distance, she stared down at the scene. Amy was lying there, wearing her clothes, and looking beautiful. Karma wondered why she was staring. She had seen the other girl sleep before, thousands of times, so why was this different?

She felt a stab in her palm and noticed that the bandage was moist. She had to change it. Karma moved around the room in silence gathering all the things that she needed. She took off the bandage and applied more alcohol to the wound. Again, t burned like hell. She was struggling with the bandage when she heard Amy stirring.

"Mmm…" Amy turned to lie on her stomach and felt the empty bed. "Karma?" she mumbled confused.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"What are you doing?" Amy's voice was groggy.

"I needed to change this," Karma lifted the undone bandage with her hands.

"Let me…" Amy said getting up. Karma tried to stop her, but she took the bandage and fixed it automatically. She was half asleep. When she finished she look up to Karma with sleepy eyes and said bluntly "Now come back to bed."

The auburn haired girl froze into place while watching her friend go back to sleep. She felt something warm inside and blushed again. She couldn't stop herself from smiling. Amy was adorable when she was tired; she missed that about her: her vulnerable, dorky self. Karma thought about her dream. Amy had gone to take her out of the dark shed and had held her until she stopped crying. That was the night when Amy told her she loved her for the first time. They'd been friends for a couple of years, but that day the blonde's words had changed everything. That was the day they understood they had found their soul mate at the age of 10.

Karma went to lie next to Amy, facing her. She was still for a long time, not knowing what to do. The urge of touching the blonde was too strong. After what seemed like hours she gathered the courage to touch her face. She ran her fingers across Amy's cheek. Karma didn't know why she was doing that, but she kept herself from thinking it through. This was the first time in weeks that she was near Amy. She had missed her so much, and she couldn't remember why they weren't speaking to each other.

Then it hit her: she had broken her heart.

"I'm so sorry, Amy. I never meant to hurt you," she whispered under her breath.

Without thinking she leaned in and kissed her lips.

"I hope you can forgive me one day."

Suddenly Amy moved and rolled over to face the other way. Karma panicked for a second before noticing that the blonde had been asleep all the time. She sighed sadly and closed her eyes.

In the other side of the bed Amy opened hers and tried her best to keep her breathing steady. She had heard Karma. She felt her caresses and was so comfortable that she pretended to be asleep so that she wouldn't stop. But then the kiss happened. She had been about to push her away, but she didn't. Her insides burned painfully because that was all she ever wanted, but that was also the thing that would tear her apart. In that instant she hated Karma. How could she play with her feeling again, toy with her heart? Karma didn't know she was awake but, why would she kiss her in the first place? Amy didn't sleep for the rest of the night.


	8. Drowning

Hello, guys.  
I'm really sorry for the delay! D: My life became unbelievably busy… and I don't even know why. Also, I have to confess that I'd just planned the story until the storm episode and I was struggling to write a transition towards my next idea, which I hope you'll like. Also, _Faking it_'s new season and all the comedy killed my angsty mood of desperation, so it's hard to get back on track hahahaha

Sorry if this feels a little forced.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

Something was bothering Karma. She winced a little and fought to stay asleep. But she was conscious, so that was obviously a lost battle. She opened her eyes and found the rays of sun hitting her window where the curtains were cracked open. Normally she would curse under her breath, but this time the sun meant that the storm was finally over. She laid there enjoying the warm light pouring over her sore body until she felt that something was missing. She turned over her bed and found it empty.

Amy was gone.

In her place she found a folded square of paper; a note of some sort.

_Karma,  
__I hope you're feeling better. I had to leave because I promised Lauren I would get back home before our parents. We don't want to get in trouble.  
__Last night was… I don't know what that was, but I need time to think, some time off. I'll keep my distance for a while until I can figure out what to do about these feelings. I'm not mad at you, though. Please, don't get mad at me either. This is just too hard for me right now. I hope you understand.  
__See you at school.  
__- Amy_

Even though the message was clear –things weren't okay and they wouldn't get better anytime soon– what hurt the most was the end. _Amy. _Just that, without an _I love you, xoxo, _or any other sign of caring. They'd always written little silly notes to each other, which eventually became texts, but there was always a hint of playful love behind. Now that was gone too.

Someone opened the front door downstairs; probably her parents. But Karma didn't care. She kept staring down the paper feeling numb and confused. Apart from her panic attack and minor accident, the night had been almost normal; another slumber party. Karma was sure that after last night's episode, Amy would go back to her and help her fight the world again. She had shown her how hurt she was, how sorry she felt and how much she needed Amy in her life. And yet, she had left her alone, in bed, as if regretting ever coming in her rescue.

The door of her bedroom flew open. Mrs. Ashcroft looked pale and frightened. She saw her daughter and ran to hug her tightly. Karma didn't return the gesture.

"Karma, what happened!? Did you hurt yourself?" she half yelled, half sobbed cupping the girl's face with her hands.

"Uhh?"

"The kitchen it's… there's blood on the floor and the window was broken… for a moment I thought…" Mrs. Ashcroft was mumbling how scared she was for her, and that they would never leave like that again.

"It's okay, mom…Amy was here," Karma replied in a monotone voice.

"And she left? But it's only 7 AM."

The precision of the time hurt even more; that meant that Amy had left just an hour or two after she had kissed her in her sleep.

"Karma, what happened, sweetie?"

"The door of the kitchen flew open because of the wind. I guess dad never fixed it. When it slammed, the glass broke and I was in the way… I panicked, so I called Amy. She helped me out. She tried to clean everything so you wouldn't worry, but in the dark she must have missed something."

Mrs. Ashcroft sighed heavily; Amy had basically spread the blood all over the place. Had she ever mopped anything in her entire life, the woman wondered. It didn't look like a crime scene but it had been enough to freak her out. However, now that she had made sure her daughter was okay she focused in her psyche; she had a really dark aura around her.

"Did you have a panic attack?" Karma nodded. "I'm so sorry, dear. I knew we shouldn't have left you alone. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," the girl lied weakly. She saw the sad look of her mom and decided to show her the note. "This is really over, mom." The woman read the letter and hugged her daughter.

"She says she needs time, honey. You'll see you'll get back on track."

"No, we won't. I can feel her pulling away from me. Last night I thought she had decided to stay, but she ran away, literally. And I can't blame her."

"And you want her back?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I can't have her, I get it now."

"Karma, you can't give up. What you have with Amy is worth fighting for."

"I know, mom. I love her with all my heart, I really do. But being around me is destroying her. I wanted to be selfish and force her back to me, but that's not fair for Amy. I'm done hurting her. I won't do it anymore, and if I have to let her go to do so… then I will."

Warm tears were running down her cheeks. She was in so much physical and emotional pain that she felt short of breath. However, she had just made a decision. She would sacrifice her happiness and even her sanity, in order to save Amy from drowning by her side.

After the wedding fiasco she had tried to find any scratch of romantic feelings for Amy, so she could love her back, but there was nothing. She had to admit to herself that the threesome had been _whoa _and that the black lingerie and the kiss had made her dizzy and hot and confused as shit. But for weeks she hadn't felt any urges or had any dreams of any sort that suggested a sexual attraction towards Amy. She wished she had, but her body and mind refused to become gay all of a sudden. She had been really busy sneaking out with Liam to think of anything else. Last night she had blushed and kissed Amy, but she didn't know where all of that had come from; and now that fluttery feeling was completely gone. She wasn't in love, and if that was the case, she wouldn't force herself on Amy. She was done with breaking her heart every time they were in the same room. So that was that.

Karma, somehow, convinced her mother that she was feeling better and that she needed to go to school. The past few weeks had been a blur and, even though the situation with Amy was worse than ever, the auburn haired girl decided to finally follow Zen's advice: get her mind off of things and find something to focus her energy on.

On the way to high school she had to sit in the back of the bus in order to keep a safe distance from her former best friend. Both of the girls went back to using the school's transport, so that meant future daily interactions. And if Amy needed space, Karma would give it to her. The blonde noticed the sudden change in the dynamic but didn't say anything. When their eyes interlocked, they both saw deep pain and disappointment in one another. This wasn't how everything was supposed to happen, but the situation had backfired and they had to deal with the consequences. It was for the sake of their healing processes, Karma thought. However, Amy's pale face made that very hard to believe.

Karma did her best to avoid any unnecessary encounters with Amy. She wanted to show her that she respected her decision and that she wouldn't get in her way. The blonde got the message pretty quickly and played along, but they both felt empty. This was the first time since they had met that they would consciously avoid each other. It was weird because they could barely remember how being apart had felt like.

-o-o-o-

_Amy was new at school, kinder garden to be precise. Her family had moved from the north because of her dad's new job. Amy hated changes, so the whole situation of being the new girl was getting the best of her. Farrah had scolded her on their way to school because she didn't want to get in the car. Her mother was so mad that she dropped her off and left without another word. Amy was guided to her classroom where she saw a bunch of kids running around and playing on the floor. On one corner a small girl was feeding a brown hamster; apparently she was speaking to it too. When the teacher came in everyone got into their seats, Amy was introduced and sent to sit in the back next to the hamster girl. "Great" Amy thought rolling her eyes. She could be five years old, but she knew all about sarcasm by now. _

_The days went by and Amy started to get confortable in her new school. The playground was huge and she could play by herself whenever she felt like it; the teachers didn't force her to join a team or group of kids. She wasn't the only one spending recess alone; the hamster girl did too. Amy watched her sometimes. Karma, that's how she was called, would stay in the classroom and feed and play with Mr. Brownie the class' hamster. When she was done the teacher would take her outside to play, but she never did. It wasn't because she didn't try; she didn't avoid people like Amy, the others would set her aside and ignore her. It was kind of sad. The young blonde had come to know Karma as a sweet girl that had a beautiful smile. She was annoying sometimes because she craved for attention, but when she wasn't all intense Amy and her could work peacefully together._

_The next day, three weeks after the beginning of the school year, Mr. Brownie died. Karma found him lying still in his cage. The teacher couldn't get her to stop crying so she left her there, sitting in the back next to Amy, until recess. Surprisingly, the auburn girl was the first to leave the classroom. Amy followed her and found her sitting on the floor outside the cafeteria, sobbing painfully. Beside her there were tiny purple balls that look like candy for mice. _

"_Hey, what are you doing here?" asked Amy innocently as if she had found her by chance. When Karma didn't answer she sat down next to her. "I'm sorry about Mr. Brownie. I know you liked him a lot."_

"_It is my fault," Karma said with a broken voice._

"_Don't say that. That hamster was old. You took really good care of him."_

"_They did this to get back at me."_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_I saw the boys playing with this yesterday. I told them that it was rat poison and that they shouldn't touch it… I guess they gave some to Mr. Brownie just to make me upset."_

"_I don't know…," that accusation seemed a little paranoid._

"_They DID. I know they did…You don't know what it's like! They hate me. They call me names! I never did anything to them…and now Mr. Brownie is dead, because they think I'm weird." Karma was yelling and crying, while Amy felt guilty. _

_It was true. The people in their class bothered the little girl all the time and the blonde hadn't done anything about it because she didn't want to be a target too. But that would change. In that moment Amy decided she would rather team up with a girl that cried for the loss of an innocent animal, than be part of a group of cold and stupid people that were mean just for the fun of it. _

"_You're not weird. They're stupid," Amy sad firmly. She received a confused look from Karma who seemed unable to process the fact that someone would ever back her up. "Here, drink this," Amy gave her a chocolate milk box she had saved for lunch. _

"_I can't take it, it's your favorite," Karma said quietly while cleaning the tears with her long sleeve. Amy smiled at the comment; maybe she hadn't been the only one watching the loner in the schoolyard. _

"_You needed it more than I do." _

_That's all it took for the two girls to become best friends: a dead hamster and chocolate milk. After that day, Karma and Amy wouldn't leave each other's side. The blonde wouldn't let anyone pick on Karma again, and she would help the blonde girl become a more social human being. _

-o-o-o-

Karma's teachings of how to make friends and be nice allowed Amy to have someone to go to after Karma broke her heart. Shane had become a bittersweet guardian angel. He would try to cheer her up at the auburn girl's expense, which wasn't very conforting. Even tough Amy didn't like the part where Shane would bully Karma, she followed him around in order to keep her sanity in check. She was betraying the foundations of the Raudenfeld-Ashcroft friendship, but she couldn't be around her anymore. Especially if Karma kept sending her the hugest mixed signals in the history of the confused sexuality paradigm.

Amy was so upset after the night spent at Karma's that she told Shane everything. Saying he lost his temper would've been an understatement. He had been trying his best to help Amy through her breakup and it had been a nightmare. The blonde girl had just started to eat and sleep normally after three weeks of looking like a zombie. She even started to be more energetic and smile and crack sarcastic jokes. But after the storm, everything was back to square one, AGAIN!

He had been sympathetic with Karma the first days, he had even taken her home the day she looked like she would have a panic attack in the middle of the day. But she was the one that had fucked everything up. She had used Amy and fooled with Liam without thinking of the consequences. And now she sort of decides she has probably feelings for Amy?

"That's it! I can't take it anymore…Amy, stay here," and he stormed out leaving a worried Amy behind him.

It was time for lunch. Shane found Karma in the cafeteria and yelled "You! Outside NOW!"

The boy's expression was so dark that she didn't dare question him. She just followed in silence.

"What were you thinking?!" he hissed taking her by the arm and pulling her to a secluded area of the schoolyard.

"What _is_ your problem?!" Karma yelled back getting away from him.

"I'm the one asking the angry questions here!"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Last night… you…Amy…in bed."

Obviously Amy had spoken to Shane, but she didn't get why he was so upset.

"What about it?"

"How can you be so cynical? You can't just go around pulling everyone down into your shit!"

"And you can't pretend to understand something that is not of your fucking business!"

"Amy's heart is my business, missy! And you-have-to-stop messing around with it," he warned in a deathly tone.

"I'M NOT!"

"Really? Well, next time you decide to kiss certain someone, AGAIN, just don't!"

The tall boy turned around and left without another word. He was done with Karma. She was a spoiled little brat and he hoped that intervention would keep her away from Amy for good. He had once liked her, but after everything Shane couldn't stop himself from blaming everything on Ashcroft. First she destroyed Liam's confidence, and now she was playing mind games with poor sexually confused Amy?

In a normal situation Karma would have slapped him pretty hard. Shane would be whimpering on the floor right now. But the girl didn't move. If he knew about the kiss it meant that Amy was awake when it happened, and that was probably the reason why she had left early leaving behind a cold note. _Fuck._

She had to sit down for a moment. How long had Amy been awake? She tried to remember if she had said anything inappropriate but she didn't remember. And then it hit her, her best friend had been aware of the kiss and had turned her back to her... which didn't make any sense since she was in love with her, right? Karma realized that the rejection had been immediate and that could only mean two things: either Amy was over her already, or she had felt betrayed and hurt because of Karma's selfishness. _Way to go, Karma. This is perfect. You figured out a way to hurt Amy even when you're trying to be nice_, she told herself. The cut in her hand throbbed reminding her of the night of the storm, reminding her of Amy's bare back when she changed her clothes, reminding her of Amy's arms around her waist, reminding her of how she had said _"Come back to bed"_. Karma blushed furiously and felt her stomach drop. _Fuck!_


	9. Let's get this straight

Hi, again to all the beautiful people from around the world. Thanks for your patience.

I got thinking. I should start developing other characters as well… maybe Shane or Lauren. I like her a lot since the show humanized her a lot more this season. Liam may have an appearance but I rather avoid him hahaha.

This is isn't as long as usual, but I had to cut it short to make sure the next chapter was coherent. There's an awful amount of dialogs in this episode, but it was necessary. You'll get more action (as in not so much talking) next time.

Enjoy y'all.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it".

* * *

"What do you think you're doing?," Amy almost ran Shane over.

"Relax, blondie. I just had a serious conversation with Karma. She won't be bothering you anymore," said Shane feeling proud of himself.

"What did you tell her?!"

"Jezz… what is all the fuzz about? I just stated that she shouldn't kiss you if she's not willing to be with you."

"WHAT?! SHANE, SHE DIDN'T KNOW I WAS AWAKE!"

"She didn't?… Oh, this is awkward."

"For God's sake, Shane. For _once_ keep this stuff to yourself. I have enough problems without you spilling my secrets to everyone!"

"Amy, I'm sorry. I thought it wasn't such a big deal…"

"It _is_ a big deal. I'm a complete mess and now you ruined everything. I need time away from Karma, but I want to get back with her eventually. But now… NOW you just scared her off. She must think I sent you…" Amy was passing up and down messing with her hair because of the stress.

"Amy, if you want I can apologize to her," however Shane seemed mad. "But, for the record, I'm just trying to help! Who was the one who came all weapy and teary to my arms this morning? I'm sorry, but with all the complaining I didn't get to the part where you wanted to make things right with Karma."

"I was upset! But if I wanted to let her know that, I wouldn't have come to you, would I?!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!" and with that they went different ways. That was definetely a really bad day.

-o-o-o-

Amy slammed the front door and heard a pained scream behind her. She immediately turned to open it. Lauren was holding her nose with her hand with tears of pain sprinkling her eyes.

"What the fuck, moron?! I was just behind you!"

"I'm so sorry, Lauren. I haven't got used to coming home with someone following me."

Lauren rolled her eyes and pushed her stepsister aside. She went straight to the bathroom to see if there was any important facial trauma. She had a dance competition in three weeks and she couldn't risk a broken nose. "I never follow you. You just happen to have longer strides," the short girl pointed out acidely.

Amy collapsed on the sofa and buried her face in one of the cushions. She heard a frustrated sigh behind her.

"Ughh… I'm sure I'll regret asking… but, what's wrong with you today?"

"Not of your business."

"Fine, say goodbye to me trying to be nice then." Lauren was about to exit the living room when Amy stopped her by grabbing her sweater. The little blonde smiled, she wouldn't admit it out loud, but she was starting to like the idea of bonding with someone besides her puppet friends. Since the wedding, when both of them had been dumped, she felt something like empathy for her new sister. It wasn't pity, but it wasn't love either. Amy was so complicated that it was fun to watch, and it helped getting her head away from her personal issues.

"Are you gonna tell me why you've being acting so edgy since you ran back from Karma's? What happened anyways? You looked awful this morning and I noticed she was wearing a bandage… did you have a cat fight?"

"What? No! Stalker much?"

"Please, I hardly ever aknowledge your existence."

"Something…happened at her house," Lauren gave her a signal that wasn't enough information. "She kissed me."

"And you didn't like it?"

"No."

"I'm confused. Aren't you in love with her?"

"Yes but… I was asleep."

"So you dreamnt it?"

"NO!"

"Then how do you know she kissed you?"

"BECAUSE I WAS PRETENDING TO BE ASLEEP!"

"Okay…fine. Volume please. I don't want the neighbors to know the whole story too."

"And now Shane hates me."

"For kissing Karma?"

"No, because he told her."

"Told her what?"

"GOD, LAUREN. Are you even listening to me?!"

"I am! But you keep mumbling things. I reming you, Amy, of something called complete coherent sentences. Now try to use them and then explain to me what the fuck happened in her house and why the hell is Shane involved?!"

Amy took a deep breath, sat down correctly and told Lauren everything. The story of Karma's panic attacks, her deep fear of being left alone, the window accident, their night together and the kiss, and the fight with Shane. It took about an hour and a half to get all the details out in the open, but Lauren was patient. She understood the situation so much better now and she found out that her worries for Amy were actually pretty damn necessary.

"I need to say something here…, before I go back to being my bitchy usual self," Lauren said carefully. Amy nodded and waited in silence. "Lets just get things straight…not straight-straight, but you get the point," she rolled her eyes as regretting already being nice to Amy.

"You obviously still have feelings for Karma and I think you shouldn't bury them just yet. She was vulnerable last night, maybe as vulnerable as she will ever get. Those situations through you to the edge and, trust me, they reveal a lot of your inner fears and desires. She may have kissed you because she has feelings for you too," Amy made a face and started shaking her head sideways in panic. "I know you have been trying to get over her… I haven't been able to sleep well for weeks either; you cry very loudly. But, if you give her a chance…"

"I can't Lauren. I've known her all my life and she has never ever shown any romantic feelings towards me."

"Then how do you explain her brilliant idea of faking being a lesbian couple."

"She was just desperate for attention."

"That's not what desperate people usually do."

"Yeah, well I blame her family values and disgustingly open minded parents."

"You have a point."

"Do you really think she may be in love with me?" Amy's puppy eyes and broken heart was to much to take. Maybe the conversation didn't go in the direction it meant to.

"Look, you know her better than I do. I'm just saying that if she tries anything else again you should confront her or respond. That's the only way you'll ever figure out if she's just pretending or if, deep down, she wants the same thing that you do."

Amy nodded and stared away in thought. That wasn't such a crazy idea. She had longed for that kiss, she now wondered why the hell hadn't she embrassed the situation and kiss her back just like she had wanted for weeks.

"Seize the day," Amy said absent mindly.

"I prefer _carpe diem, _but whatever," Lauren got up and started walking to the stairs. "I hope this helped," she said refering to the conversation.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Please, let's not make this a habit. I have better things to do." She tried to be mean, but Amy saw that she was joking.

"Hey, Lauren? What did you mean by 'trust me'? When were you thrown to the edge?" The little blonde gave the saddest smile she had ever seen.

"Let's keep that for our next bonding session," and with that she left.

Amy stayed where she was for a long while thinking about the conversation. The whole situation had been odd. She didn't know that Lauren could care about anyone but herself, but she had proven to be a really good listener. She wasn't that bad after all, when she let her guard down. They were pretty much alike after all… Amy could be a real _hater,_ but she was a quieter type of hater. Her phone rang. It was Shane.

_Hey, you. Am I allowed to call you? _

"Hi"

_Amy, I wanted to apologize. What I did was wrong. I'm really really really sorry._

"It's okay, Shane. You were just trying to help. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have snapped at you. Can you forgive me? I want my gay bff back as soon as possible."

_Only if you forgive me too. I swear I'll never spill your secrets again. I learned my lesson._

"And I promise I'll make myself clear when something shouldn't be of public domain."

_Deal! So are we okay? _

"Of course, Shane. Don't worry about it."

_Great! Because I have a dirty proposition. What do you think about the karaoke night dilemma?_

Amy rolled her eyes. It was so typical of Shane to go from a terrible drama to the lightest sparkly conversation in the planet. Of course he wanted to go out, that's all he ever did.

"I think it's a proof of the decay of human dignity but it may be fun to watch after a long and dreathful day. Making fun of people happens to be one of my talents."

_Weeeeeell… then we have a date for Friday! Double date to be exact._

"Wait what? Double date? With who?!"

_A cute older girl named Amber… I think that's her name anyways. She is best buddies with this guy I'm dating._

"Pablo?"

_Oh, God, no! Trust me, girl, cold showers get old after a couple of days. Anywaaaays, Amber is gonna perform and you can go and watch from a safe distance and decide if you're into her._

"Perform? Isn't it open mic night?"

_Uhh, no. It is late show of female vocalist covering pop songs. I think you'll like it. _

"So I won't be able to laugh about their awful singing skills?"

_Probably not, but we can always make fun of their outfits!_

"Ok, fine. I'll go. But if I don't like her you have to promise me you'll stik by my side and bring me home whenever I say so."

_That won't be necessary but okay, I promise under my gay scout's honor. _Amy laughed on the other side of the line. _Now that we got that and the apologies out of the way, do you want to do something tonight? _

"Movies at my place?"

_You're gonna make me watch another experimental film, arent't you? _

"You may choose this time."

_Cool, I'm on my way. _


	10. Unperfect timing

What is up with the character of Zen in the TV show?! He deals with cars in Dallas instead of saving the world? And why, WHY does he have to be such a pain in the ass?... I like my version way better. Zen should be a masculine version of Karma and stand up to his name.

Ok, rant time is over. Now it's time for some musical performances. Music is the truest medium where Karma expresses herself and this may be a cathartic moment for her. I'll add the lyrics so you can read them in case you don't know the songs or what they're about.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters of "Faking it" r any of the lyrics of the following songs.

* * *

It was Wednesday afternoon and Karma was still at school. She was busy pasting dark colored posters around Hester High. Vashtee asked her to put them up because on Friday night there would be an open mic event for female singers in a local café. The little restaurant had promised to sponsor Hester High's new online magazine if they helped them spread the word of their cultural events. It had been a fair deal since the Moon Rock Café had a similar philosophy than Vashtee, editor in chief, and they were all about sharing, and supporting young talents.

Monday afternoon, after the rough and cruel encounter with Shane, Karma was caught crying by Vashtee. She had been nice enough to ask what was wrong, but Karma dismissed her concerns by saying "you know, the usual stuff that happen when you screw up". They got talking and the Muslim girl apologized for publishing the end of Amy and Karma's fake relationship. She was very professional about it and she had to inform her readers, however she was sorry things had gone so bad so quickly. Karma told her it was okay and then had an idea.

"Vashtee, do you need help with the school's magazine? I heard you're starting a new project."

"Do you have any experience in the editorial world?"

"No, but I can do thorough research… and I-I could help with anything! Coffee girl, messenger, anything."

"I don't know, I can't think of anything right now. You aught to have experience to work in the team."

"Please, Vashtee. I have way to much free time and I need to meet new people."

The girl saw Karma's puppy eyes and understood Amy's infatuation and inability to say no to that face. She sighed. She liked Karma, she was nice and she'd had a rough time. Everyone deserved a second chance.

"Fine. Come with me. We'll figure out something. I'll give you different assignments through the week to see what you're good at and if you work well with the rest of us. Chemistry is key for an effective team work."

So there she was now, pasting posters and handing flyers to everyone around. She had to smile a lot even though she didn't feel like it, but it was a job requirement. People didn't pay a lot of attention to Karma, but the angry looks were gone. Her selfish fraud was old news and everyone was starting to forget about the drama.

-o-o-o-

When she got home, she was exhausted. Tons of homework waited to be done, but Karma couldn't concentrate. She had read the poster's information a thousand times and was starting to consider signing in. She had only performed once in front of an audience, but it was her passion. Amy wasn't there to listen anymore, so she would have to find and be okay with sharing with an anonymous public. Karma took out her phone and called the number she had learned by heart.

_Moon Rock café, how can I serve you? _

"Hi…ehmm…I'm calling because of the add?"

_I'm sorry, can you be a little more specific?_

"Yeah! Sorry. About the open mic this Friday. Are there any spots left?"

_Let me see… Yes, I have a few places to fill in. What's your name?_

"Karma Ashcroft."

_Okaaay… you'll be singing with a group or by yourself?_

"Oh, it's just me and my guitar."

_Cool, we like acoustic songs. What will you be performing?_

"Ehmm… I don't know yet, I've been working on this song…"

_Oh, sorry, but Friday's event is for covers of pop-rock songs. If you want to participate with original songwriting we have an upcoming event in two weeks._

"That's all right, I can sing… ehmm… is Taylor Swift okay?"

_Sure, teens love her. Which song?_

"Story of us!" Karma didn't have to think it twice. She'd been listening to sad songs about breakups and misunderstandings for days and that was one of the top ten.

_Perfect. You can come Friday afternoon to do a sound check or just arrive at 7:00 for registration. Then we'll tell you at what time you're up. Thanks for calling, Karma. Have a nice day! _

She couldn't believe she had signed herself in a singing contest. That was really out of character. She loved and craved for attention, but she was very protective of her singing and she had thought about it as something private and special she shared with Amy. However, it was done and she convinced herself that after all she had been through an open mic wouldn't be as bad. She called Zen to tell him the news.

-o-o-o-

"Shane why am I doing this again?"

"Because you need to move on and get yourself a real girlfriend!"

Amy rolled her eyes and let Shane drag her inside the little restaurant. It was packed. There were no tables available and every inch of floor was occupied by an overly enthusiastic human being. Amy didn't fit there, she tried to convince herself she had to go out and have fun, but she was starting to regret it. She didn't even know this girl she was supposed to be in a double date with. Shane found Wesley after a couple of minutes and introduced Amy. He was smoking hot and obviously a college student. He smiled and said that Amber was backstage getting ready with her group and that she'll come down after her performance. Amy smiled awkwardly when she noticed Wesley was checking her out. She didn't understand if he was bi, or making an initial assessment before reporting to his best friend; if he tried anything with her she swore she would be out of there in seconds. They found a little space by the bar and ordered some beers with Shane's fake ID. There was a sea of people between them and the stage so the view was crappy, but Amy didn't care. That had been a stupid idea, she hated pop songs! If someone started singing Miley Cyrus or Nicky Minaj she would flee the place at any cost. Shane scolded her for being a party pooper and forced her to drink her beer in less than a minute. Her head felt light and somehow everything became more bearable. She ordered a second beer to numb herself.

-o-o-o-

Karma had been backstage forever and she was starting to panic. She couldn't do it! What was she thinking?! There were at least a sixty people in the restaurant whistling and screaming for the show to start. What if they didn't like her? What if she passed out because she forgot how to breathe? She regretted not asking Vashtee to come along; at least she would have had someone to have her back. But they weren't exactly friends, so she had come by herself.

She was number three in the list and she would have to go on stage in a few minutes. The first group of girls had sung Pink's _Blow me one last kiss_ and now an older woman was performing _Home_ of Michael Bublé. Before she knew it, someone from the staff was calling her name and telling her she was up next. Karma took a deep breath and walked on stage.

Everyone was quiet. After the round of applauses for the last singer, everyone was expecting something majestic. Karma sat down on a tall stool and cleared her throat. The good thing was that she wasn't supposed to introduce herself. It was a contest and people would vote for the number each singer represented, giving their full names would've been a waste of time.

"H-hi, everyone. This is _Story of us_ by Taylor Swift"

The lights went out and Karma was in the center of the only spotlight of the room. That would help her concentrate and ignore the crowd in front of her. Her fingers ran across the guitar's strings and she began singing a slow and acoustic version of the pop song.

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,_

_How we met and the sparks flew instantly,_

_People would say, "They're the lucky ones."_

_I used to know my place was a spot next to you,_

_Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,_

_'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on._

_Oh, a simple complication,_

_Miscommunications lead to fall-out._

_So many things that I wish you knew,_

_So many walls that I can't break through._

As Karma sang she thought about Amy and how their story had fallen apart. Their friendship was in a delicate place where the recent mistakes casted huge shadows over the most beautiful memories they had together. She knew that she had screwed up and let Amy down, and that was why she was there, alone, singing about a broken heart and the desire to let someone know that she was hurt and sorry.

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

_How'd we end up this way?_

_See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,_

_And you're doing your best to avoid me._

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,_

_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,_

_But you held your pride like you should've held me._

_This is looking like a contest,_

_Of who can act like they care less,_

_But I liked it better when you were on my side._

_The battle's in your hands now,_

_But I would lay my armor down_

_If you said you'd rather love than fight._

_So many things that you wished I knew,_

_But the story of us might be ending soon._

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

When she finished the last chorus people went mad. They were clapping and screaming. They've loved it! Karma smiled shyly and left the stage feeling ecstatic. She felt sad because of what had happened in her life and especially because she couldn't share that moment with her best friend, but she was excited people had liked her song so much. Backstage a couple of girls congratulated her and told her she had been amazing. At one point one short girl approached her with a nervous smile.

"Hi, there number three. You were awesome! Where did you learn to sing like that?"

"Oh, thanks. Ehmm I don't know. I've been singing since I was five."

"I know this will sound weird but, I wanted to ask you for a big big favor," the girl looked anxious. "Would you like to sing with us?"

"Sing with you?"

"Yeah, it's just… our singer, Sheryl, had an emergency or something and she won't make it and if we don't find someone to fill her spot we can't perform."

"Well, I don't know. Isn't that against the rules?"

"No idea, but we can ask the manager. But will you do it?"

"What are you playing?"

"_All of me_ by John Legend. Do you know it?"

"Yeah, who doesn't?"

"Is that a yes?"

"If it's okay with the manager, yes."

"GREAT! Thank you so so so much, I promise that if we win you'll get your share of the $300." Karma didn't even know there was a price, so that was a plus. She followed the little girl who happened to be called Skyler.

-o-o-o-

Amy was facing the opposite wall when she heard her voice. She choked on her second beer and started coughing loudly. Someone told her to be quiet. When she was able to breathe again, she turned and saw Karma on stage wearing a dark dress and her hair in a messy braid. She looked beautiful and nervous. Her voice trembled at first but she corrected that right away.

Amy was always amazed by Karma's voice and that night the feeling was stronger than ever. The craving of her company was unbearable and she missed as much as four weeks ago, when everything crashed and burnt. The auburn haired girl played the guitar flawlessly and sang with her eyes closed. People in the restaurant listened carefully and swayed with the rhythm. Amy knew the song but it had never occurred to her that it could apply to their situation. She could feel Karma's pain in her voice and it took every ounce of self-control to stop herself from running out of the bar. She probably didn't know Amy was there watching and listening to her.

"God! Why does she have to be everywhere?!," Shane hissed under his breath.

Amy stood where she was fearing Karma would see her, something quite impossible since the lights were out. She started hyperventilating when she remembered she was in a date with an unknown girl; Karma couldn't see that. That was a disaster! When the song was over Karma left the stage with a smile and disappeared.

"Amy, I'm sorry about that. She wasn't supposed to be here."

"It's okay Shane, as long as she doesn't see us… Besides if she's performing that means that she signed out for this thing a few days ago."

"Yeah, but this was supposed to be your night off. Not a musical reminder of your current situation!"

"Trust me, no one is more aware of that than me! Shane you need to calm down. I don't want to make a scene."

"Are you okay then?"

"Yeah, sure," she lied. "Now it is over. When is Amber's turn?"

"She's next," said Wesley pointing to the stage.

"Hi, everyone. How you doing? Thanks for coming tonight. My girls and I are gonna sing _Careful_ by Paramore, enjoy and vote for number five!"

Amber's group, Summer Night Dreams, didn't modify the song to make an original cover like Karma. But they were good, Amber sounded just like Hayley Williams, and with just three band members it seemed as if a group of five people were playing at the same time. People got excited and sang along.

_I settled down a twisted up frown_

_Disguised as a smile, well_

_You would have never known_

_I had it all_

_But, not what I wanted_

_'cause hope for me was a place uncharted and overgrown_

_You'd make your way in_

_I'd resist you just like this_

_You can't tell me to feel_

_The truth never set me free_

_So, I did it myself_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out a little more_

_More_

_More_

_More, more_

_Open your eyes_

_Like I opened mine_

_It's only the real world._

_A life you will never know_

_Shifting your weight_

_To throw off the pain_

_Well you can ignore it_

_But only for so long_

_You look like I did_

_You resist me just like this_

_You can't tell me to heal_

_And it hurts remembering_

_How it felt to shut down_

_You can't be too careful anymore_

_When all that is waiting for you_

_Won't come any closer_

_You've got to reach out a little more_

_More_

_More_

_More, more_

When they were done everyone in the café cheered and screamed. Summer Night Dreams were a complete success with the public. Amber didn't even bother going backstage, she jumped off the stage and headed directly towards Wesley and the others. They hugged excited, Wesley showed that he was definitely gay, and then she turned to look at Amy. She scanned her slowly, from head to toes with sensual eyes. Amy felt self-conscious and blushed furiously; no one had ever watched her like that. She felt hot and dirty at the same time. When Amber introduced herself Amy lost her ability to speak. The girl in front of her was gorgeous, tall, with chocolate hair and warm brown eyes, long legs and neck. If she had told Amy she was a top model she would have believed her.

"Shane, I didn't know you're friend was mute," she said playfully.

"She's just admiring you in silence, that's all. Amy say something and stop staring, that's rude!"

"Y-you were… a-amazing," managed Amy with a strangled voice. Amber smiled with foxy eyes and the blonde girl felt lightheaded. She would've been enjoying herself if she hadn't had so much to drink and if certain Ashcroft wasn't getting on stage. Wait, what?

"What is she doing up there again?," Shane complained watching Karma appear with other unknown girls. Amy could tell he was furious.

Amber whistled with the rest of the crowd and some of the other female singers. "Hey! Girl number three shouldn't be up there!" "That's unfair!"

"Calm down, calm down," said Skyler through the speakers. "We had a little problem with our lead singer…she couldn't make it so we asked talented girl number three to help us out. Because we're violating the rules, we won't be part of the contest so you won't be able to vote for us, but you can still vote for Karm…I mean number three! Also we didn't wanna leave without doing what we came to do, so this is _All of me._"

Karma stood in the center of the stage and grabbed a microphone as Skyler and Beth, the guitarist, started to play the song. She was nervous because of the unwelcoming crowd; maybe she shouldn't have accepted the offer. Karma had dealt with enough hatred for the past weeks to keep adding up to it. However it was too late, she had to go on with the plan. She sang the first verses.

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

_What's going on in that beautiful mind_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride_

_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

In that instant, just before the chorus both girls locked their eyes. Amy was standing by the bar, looking terrified, and Karma felt her heart skip a beat when she saw her among the crowd. The first line of the chorus came out shaky and low, but she Skyler's look pressured Karma to put herself together. So she did…

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, ohoh_

Amy knew that Karma had seen her, she could tell it in her unsteady voice; she was loosing her grip. Shane elbowed the blonde girl making her break the visual contact. Amy breathed with difficulty and did her best to ignore the lyrics. Karma wasn't the one who had chosen the song, she was filling in for another girl…but it still hurt. Every word felt real, but it was a lie. She didn't feel that way about Amy or she wouldn't have rejected her the way she did so many weeks ago. Karma didn't love her _like that,_ so she shouldn't feel so frustrated because of the words that she was singing so beautifully.

_How many times do I have to tell you_

_Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_

_The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_

_You're my downfall, you're my muse_

_My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_

_I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

Karma opened her eyes and tried her best to ignore Amy's presence but she couldn't. Deep inside, she was happy to see her and know that she had heard her sing _Story of us_. Maybe she would understand the reason why she had chosen it. And now she was singing another romantic heart-aching song that was a translation of how she felt. She loved Amy with all her heart, but in a way that she couldn't understand completely. Karma realized that her love for Amy had always been something hard to explain, but once been challenged it struggled to stick just the label of friendship. Their relationship was richer and way more complicated than that.

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, ohoh_

_Give me all of you_

_Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts_

_Risking it all, though it's hard_

By the end of the song, when she was starting the last chorus she gathered the little courage she had left and looked for Amy. But something was wrong. A girl was with her. They were talking about something and the older girl stroked Amy's hair and leaned in to whisper something in her ear. The blonde girl noticed Karma's eyes on her and left the place immediately; she ran away followed by Amber. Karma watched them leave and kept singing automatically. She felt numb, betrayed, stupid, and foolish. That's when she saw Shane sitting on a bar stool smirking and saying hi as if mocking her. He lifted his shoulders and mouthed _sorry, good luck next time_. He went back to focusing his attention on a boy that was starting to kiss his neck. Karma's eyes filled with hot tears.

When the song was over she left the stage before anyone had time to clap or say anything. She didn't say goodbye to Skyler or Beth. She didn't stop when someone told her she had to stay until the winner had been chosen. She didn't care. She took her guitar and left. She walked through back alleys avoiding the streetlights because the idea of crossing Amy was too painful. She was with someone, and who could blame her. Karma remembered how she had felt with Amy sleeping by her side the night of the storm. An unfamiliar feeling of longing invaded her immediately, a longing that was destined to remain unfulfilled. Tears of rage, shame and sorrow ran down her face. The night had been a complete disaster. Just when she felt as if she was getting better, life slapped her across the face reminding her of how much she had screwed up everything.

-o-o-o-

Amy was fleeing the Moon Rock café at full speed, someone yelled behind her but she didn't stop. What if it was Karma?! She couldn't deal with her, how could she explain the girl who was all over her at the bar. Someone graved her by the arm and Amy turned around getting herself free. It was Amber.

"Hey… God, where's the fire, girl?"

"Sorry, I was just…"

"I'm sorry if I was to straight forward. I didn't mean to scare you," said Amber with a concerned look.

"What?," Amy remembered how her personal space had been invaded by the other girl. It hadn't been that bad, but the whole Karma situation made her loose her mind. "No, it's fine…it's just…I-I have to get home… my mother, s-she's expecting me."

Amber didn't look convinced, but she relaxed.

"Amy, right?," the blonde nodded. "Look, I think you're really cute and I would like to know you better," she smiled playfully. "Here's my number," she wrote it down in Amy's phone after taking it from her hands. "Call me one of these days," she said and kissed Amy on the cheek. "It was nice meeting you."

She winked and waved goodbye before heading back to the café. Amy barely managed to say "Nice to meet you too". She was confused and she really needed to get some sleep. Amber's kissed burned in a good way on her face, but her stomach was twisted in a painful knot. Why everything had to be so damn complicated? And why was Shane always putting her in really awkward situations?!


End file.
